I never claimed to be a perfect mom and I always hope that I am making the right decisions for my children. I have always tried to put my children on that perfect schedule, perfect activities, perfect food choices , perfect bed time. No spanking, no tv, etc etc but it has just been impossible for me. And up to now I have doubts occasionally but now my mind has seem to gotten the best of me right now. When I had my first child I knew nothing and every single little thing scared me. What did I do? I did what every girl does when she does not know what to do. She calls her mother. My poor mother I called her over every little tiny thing and she always told me what to do. I figured she raised me and I turned out fine. But I guess in todays world where the doctor says to do this and experts say they should be doing this by this time and so on it is hard not doubt yourself.
Currently, I am out of my comfort zone and I think that does not help at all either. I cannot wait to go back home and feel that I am back where I belong and not being judged. Again maybe I needed to be judged. Maybe I am doing it all wrong. Maybe it was selfish of me to stair step my kids and not be able to focus a little longer on each one of them. I stair stepped my kids because I wanted to be done with kids and with my family health issues. I was not sure if I would even be able to have kids. But still that is not an excuse. I just hope I am raising my kids the right way and they turn out to awesome kids.
Being out of my comfort zone has unnerved me a little I suppose because I over heard something from someone I did not expect to hear from. I am sure it was not meant in the way I took but it hurt. Can't you just talk about me when I am not around. I just really hope with all my mistakes that my children know that I did my best with them and i love them. I hope they grow up knowing they are love and that I only want the best for them. And most of all I want them to be happy in life no matter what you do.
I never claimed to be a perfect mom.....maybe you will be a better one
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